What the hell?
by I am a fluffy pen
Summary: When I decided to chase after Sasuke, I should really have payed attention to my surroundings, because the next thing I knew, Madara was in front of me and then the world decided to spiral out of control and disappear. When the world came into focus, I realized I was laying on top of a very angry man-woman swearing at the top of..it's lungs. First fic, be harsh.
1. Angry Blue Bird

**Requested by I-AM-A-VAMPIRE. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer:I do not own Naruto or -Man...or you, I-AM-A-VAMPIRE.**

**Title and summary belongs to I-AM-A-VAMPIRE. I only own the text and myself.**

**Warnings: Attempts at humor, Kanda's language. ;')**

**Notes: Imagine that the war is still somehow there, but it's still not there...A filler. TROLLOL xD  
**

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_Woof, chapter 1: Angry Blue Birds._

Naruto Uzumaki, the loudest and the most idiotic, ninja..probably in the whole world, is walking through the streets of Konoha -the Hidden Leaf village- to Ichiraku Ramen, the best place in the world, for him, at least. A few people here and there greeting him, after that whole thing with Pain and all, good times, good times..

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Pain sneezed "Damn people, writing and talking about me behind my dead back" He slowly, slowly turned to a pile of ash. "..." _I can't read dot dot dot._

* * *

"Old-man! The usual!" Naruto took a seat in front of the owner of Ichiraku Ramen, Teuchi with a huge grin on his face. "Coming right up, Naruto!" Teuchi smiled at the young man. After a few moments, the bowl of ramen was served, Teuchi smiled again. Naruto smiled back and slurped up the miso pork ramen in one go.

Naruto rummaged through his left pocket "..Huh?" then he rummaged through the right one "Wait..what? NO!" Naruto panicked "What's wrong, Naruto?" Teuchi gave him a questioning look "I can't find my wallet! Money in general!" Teuchi smiled once again "Don't worry, it's on me!" Naruto's face brightened at this.

"How did yesterday's mission go?" Naruto heard footsteps coming closer and closer to him. And he was right, two ninjas entered Ichiraku Ramen and took a seat. "It went horrible. You see this cut on my eye?" one of the two jounins pointed at his left eye. The other one nodded. "The man they're all talking about, Uchiha Madara did this. They say he developed a new jutsu. I was going to find out what the jutsu is and what it could do. When I went out looking for him, he appeared out of nowhere and cut me right over the eye. I barely got away with my team in time before he activated the Mangekyou Sharingan, I'd rather be abused than be sucked up by that thing."

Naruto didn't mean to eavesdrop on them, it was their fault for talking about someone that could lead to Sasuke.

Naruto disappeared in a flash and jumped from roof to roof to the Hokage's office. Once in front of the office, he entered...from the window. Tsunade was sitting with her fingers intertwined in front of her face. "Enter from the door next time, Naruto." she said in a stern voice. Naruto gave her a sheepish grin before returning to being serious. "Got something to tell me, grandma?"

She remained silent for a few seconds before speaking. "Tobi, also known as Madara Uchiha, Yakushi Kabuto and Sasuke Uchihas hideout has been spotted, I want you to find out more about their plans..and...Never mind." Naruto's eyes widened in shock "Really?!" he yelled. Tsunade nodded "I want you, Shikamaru Nara, Kakashi Hatake and Yamato to go to the Hidden Sand village first, they know more about this."

"Got it, lord Hokage" Kakashi said from behind. "Kakashi! Shikamaru, captain Yamato!" Naruto turned back to the Hokage. "What about Sakura?" Naruto asked "She was sent off on another mission when we got the message about this, now you better hurry." Naruto hesitated before nodding and quickly left for his apartment. "We will be on our way then, lord Hokage." Kakashi said and bowed and left just as quickly as Naruto together with Yamato and Shikamaru.

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Naruto opened his wardrobe and looked at the red robe with a black fire pattern at the bottom of it that resembled his father's so much. "Sasuke...I'm gonna... _**Kill you.**_"

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"Naruto's still not here? What's taking him so long? Even Kakashi is here." Yamato said as he walked back and forward with his arms crossed. "HEEY!" a voice came from further in in Konoha "Sorry I'm late!" "It's about time..and..that robe" Yamato looked up and down at Naruto. Said man just walked past him and out the gates of Konoha. "Enough yakking, let's go!" They all smirked at Naruto and ran Ninja-style to the Hidden Sand village.

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After a three-days trip full of bandits attacking them and that eventually turned into the world's most boring fight -since only one person needed to take care of them-, they finally arrived at the Hidden Sand village.

As soon as the Leaf village's ninjas arrived, they were taken to the Kazekage, Subaku no Gaara, or in English, Gaara of the sand. The Kazekage was sitting in front of his desk in his office, with Temari and Kankuro in front of him.

They turned to look at the four-man squad, mostly Naruto. "So you're finally here." Temari said with that serious expression everyone is wearing these days. "Yeah yeah, hi how are you whatever, let's get to the point." Naruto took a few steps closer to them. The sand siblings smirked and then went back to serious-mode. "East from here, there should be a forest. I don't know exactly where, but there should be a cave there...it's a bad hideout, to be made by people like them, so it might be a trap. Be careful, now you better hurry, Naruto, or they'll start moving." Gaara said, knowing that Naruto won't wait any longer. "Thank you, Gaara." Naruto said and rushed out of the building. The rest of them bowed and followed Naruto.

"Are you sure we shouldn't have told them about the new jutsu Madara developed, Gaara?" Kankuro said, still staring at the place where the Leaf ninjas stood. "Do you really think Naruto would wait till we finished talking about a jutsu that he couldn't care less about?" Gaara closed his eyes for a bit before opening them again "He'll be alright. Naruto isn't weak." Kankuro smirked at this.

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They were all panting as they jumped from tree to tree, still no sign of any caves or two troublesome Uchihas and a snake-like cannibal. "Kakashi! We've been looking for hours!" Naruto yelled "Are you sure we went the right way?!" "Yes, look around." Kakashi stopped and so did the rest of them, then he looked at the trees. There were indeed footprints here. "But Kakashi, those guys are smart, I don't think they would leave footprints, it must be someone else. If not, then this must be a trap." Shikamaru said lifting his hand up a bit. "But Naruto, you would go even if it was a trap, wouldn't you?" Kakashi smirked behind his mask, already knowing the answer "Of course!"

**BOOM!**

Thousands of explosive tags that were hanging from kunais went unnoticed by the four-man squad, and exploded. Smoke from the explosion was clouding the area, so it was completely impossible to see. Once it cleared up a bit, you could see a glint of something brown, Yamato's wood style was protecting them. The smoke cleared up and Yamato's wooden style shield became a body again. They looked around, and finally, after 5 hours of searching, there was Madara "..making hand signs.. RUN!" Kakashi yelled and ran into the forest again, since the area they were at was now a pile of broken trees. Unfortunately, Naruto didn't get away in time, "Mangekyou Sharingan.." Madara started "Dimension change, Area: 00129"

Black smoke appeared in front of where Naruto was headed and he couldn't stop himself in time.

Naruto was consumed by the darkness, just as Sasuke, but literally.

"NARUTOOOO!"

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"WAKE UP YOU DAMN CAT!" "wh..WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" Naruto jumped into the air and landed on the ground. In front of him, stood a...ma..wo..Man-woman samurai? He or she had long dark-blue hair tied up in a high ponytail, bangs were covering her/his almost midnight-blue eyes, he/she had a long black coat with a cross on the left side of his/her chest._..Wait..she doesn't have boobs..must be a _man..."You damn piece of shit! How DARE you land on top of me?! ENOUGH! I don't wanna hear your reasons, YOU WERE ALREADY DEAD THE MOMENT YOU LANDED ON ME!" Did I forget to mention the sword he had? He quickly drew his sword and aimed for Naruto's chest, saying "Innocence, activate!", but Naruto bent his back backwards just in time, the sword barely touching his bright, blonde hair.

"KANDA!" "YUU!" Two voices could be heard from further in the..._Wait...Where the hell am I?!..Genjutsu? No, it can't be. Madara doesn't need Mangekyou Sharingan just for genjutsu... _Naruto took this time to look around while the angry man turned around. The place looked like a tower, a giant one, on top of that. In the floor he was in, there were thousands of doors along the wall, and on all the other floors, probably. Naruto looked back to the man in front of him, behind the still angry man were two boys..or one boy and a girl...With white hair..._Old lady? No, she doesn't have wrinkles..._ Naruto continued to her chest _WAIT! She doesn't have boobs..must be a boy. _The white haired boy was wearing a white shirt with a fly, white gloves, black leather pants that hugged his ankles and simple black shoes.

The boy next to him had red hair and a green headband with some kind of pattern that I can't explain, a black jacket with the same cross on his chest as the blue haired man has, an orange scarf, black jeans and black boots that reached a bit below his knees. And I can't forget the eye patch on his right eye.

"I told you to stop calling me by my first name!" 'Yuu' half-said, half-yelled "Ye-..Who's that hybrid behind you?" the red-head said, pointing at Naruto. "This damned cat came from no where and LANDED ON ME!" the blue haired man yelled and pointed at Naruto while still looking at the red haired boy. Said boy burst out in a loud laughter "I..I should have come..earlier..HAHA!" he hold his stomach as if it was about to explode and the body parts were gonna walk around them laughing, with feet of course.

A few moments after, the boy calmed down. "So, what's your name? Where do you come from?" the white haired boy said "Woops, excuse me, you should state your own name before asking someones else, right?" _I feel like I've heard that before.._ "I'm Allen Walker, the red haired boy is Lavi, and this stupid samurai-wannabe is Bakanda." Allen motioned for Naruto to look at them while he said their names, Kanda threatened Allen before putting his sword back to where it came from. "I'm.." _Should I tell them my name, and where I come from? These guys might be enemies, and if I say something stupid Sakura will kill me..Oh what the heck, I might not..return anyway...NO! I will not give up! I'm gonna become Hokage! I will not give up in a place like this! _"Naruto Uzumaki, I'm from the Hidden Leaf village, Konoha."

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**And that's that. Please leave a review, if you care enough. =D NOTE: I _am_ looking for a beta reader. Why don't you stop by at the PMs? ;D I'm sorry if this still felt rushed to you readers, but I'm currently kindly asking myself to finish this so I can start on these damn ideas going through my head. Although, I do want to make this chapter a success. :C**


	2. Scientists and snakes, Orochimaru style?

**Thanks for waiting and thanks for wasting your time reading this fan fiction which will not change your life in any other way than to bother your patience! :D Here's chapter 2. Please review this fan fiction, so I can be more careful next time if I made a mistake..or maybe if I need to improve. o_o.. And here are the three shout outs to :**

**azeroth5**

**ArmyAssassin144**

**Shaka-laka-BOOM-girl**

**Thank you, for following, and thank you, azeroth5 for the fave. It seriously made me jump on my bed...It's getting late, so this one will sadly, be rushed. :C I'm sorry. I promise I'll try to improve, anyways :**

_**Bold italic '…' : Kyuubi speaking.**_

_Italic '…' : Naruto thinking or speaking to Kyuubi._

**Forgot to mention these things in the first chapter ^**

**Disclaimer: I do not own -Man, Naruto or I-AM-A-VAMPIRE.**

**Warnings: ...Still language?**

**Enjoy.**

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"Should we take him to Komui?" Allen looked at Lavi. "Maybe...I mean, who knows what he will do? He can take his heart out and cut it in half to see if it's real." Naruto turned blue. Allen smiled at Naruto "Haha! Don't worry! Komui isn't THAT bad...I think."

"Looking at his face, it seems that he isn't human, he's just an idiot and nothing else, cutting his body and pulling the insides out will be a waste of time" Kanda took a hold of his sword. "Shut up! I'm Uzumaki Naruto! A ninja and future Hokage!" Naruto quickly shut his mouth. "...You're a what?" the three said in unison. "I said nothing at all..not anything at all." Naruto quickly turned around and was about to get out of wherever he was but was grabbed on the shoulder by a strong hand. "Please don't try to run away, we can't let you leave. Who knows? You might be a spy.." Allen smiled but his face slowly turned into a suspicious frown.

Naruto struggled a bit before he finally gave up. "Sorry, but we'll have to take you to Komui. Good luck." Lavi waved and ran off with Kanda "WAIT! What do you mean by good luck?!" "Now, let's go." Allen smiled. "Hey! NOOOO!"

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"Komui!" Allen shouted within some sort of lab, scientists were staring at Naruto, everyone wondering the same thing: Who and what the hell is that?

Naruto took in his surroundings, trying to ignore the stares and suspicious looks given to him. In the middle of the huge room was...Something he couldn't identify. It almost looked like there was tentacles surrounding the huge object. There were also computers and scientists in front of them. Naruto's stomach clenched. _Researchers..Kyuubi._

_**'I don't think these people will try to cut your stomach open to see if there's a demon fox. Actually, I don't think they know anything about you, and they won't. If they do, I will kill them. This isn't the same world, Naruto.' Kyuubi's deep but fearful voice echoed in Naruto's mind.**_

_'Have you been here before?'_

_**'No. I can tell.'**_

_'So am I just going to let them take me to that Komui person?'_

_**'Yes. Lets just find out where this is going. Just stay calm if he's insane.'**_

"Reever, where is Komui?" Allen asked an orange, spiky haired man. "He's in his office. Waiting for you three...But, Allen, who's that? Look at his headband, either he's cosplaying as a ninja, or he is one." Reever said, pointing at Naruto's headband. Naruto stayed quiet.

"Really?" Allen stared at said headband. "Well, I'll just take him to Komui and decide what we'll do with him." Reever nodded, staring at them as they left off.

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Allen opened a door without even giving a second thought about knocking. "Oh, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, I've bee-...who's that hybrid?" a man dressed in white said. "Komui, this is Naruto, Kanda said that he fell from no where on top of him. He says he's from 'Konoha, the hidden leaf village', but there's no such thing as that here. He might be a spy, so I decided to take him to you, what will you do, Komui?"

"Hmm...Are you one of the apostles?" Komui asked Naruto. "Compatible..?" Naruto gave him a confused look. "I mean...has anything weird happened to you, or have you been able to do things others can't?" _Weird? If having a demon fox sealed inside you, meeting random strangers that want to kill you, your best friend leaves you just because he wanted to kill his brother then later he got to know that he's not really the guy he was supposed to kill AFTER he killed him, chasing him, saving my village and then finally being called a hero after getting called a demon by them, going to war is weird, then yes, Yes I have. _Naruto thought. "...I guess."

Allen gave Komui a weird look "Komui...are you gonna take this boy to Hev?" Komui nodded.

"Komui, I really don't think this is a good idea." Allen quickly replaced that look with a worried one.

"You can feel it too, can't you? The power that's more powerful than the generals, than the Noah."

"Yes, but still-" Allen was cut off by Lavi.

"Allen, it's no use, Komui has already decided."

"What are you going to do with me?" Naruto finally spoke up. "We're going to take you to a...to a...We're going to take you to Hevlaska." Allen smiled "Don't worry, she won't harm you in any way." As Allen said that, they were taken to a...snake?

"WOAH! What is this thing?!" Naruto jumped a few meters away. "This is Hevlaska. Hevlaska, if you will..." Komui backed away. The white snake-like thing with a face leaned closer to Naruto, grabbed him with her 'tail' and leaned in closer once again. "What are you gonna do with me?!" Naruto yelled. "Calm down, I won't hurt you."

_**'I think she's being honest, Naruto, just let her.'**_

Naruto nodded. Hevlaska bumped her forehead to Naruto's, They waited, and waited, but nothing happened. "This boy is not a compatible person, however, there is a fearful power residing within him...Tell me, boy, what's your name?" Naruto gulped. "Naruto."

Hevlaska put him back down. "And what are you?" Naruto looked at the people around him. "Please, answer honestly." Allen said. Naruto closed his eyes for a moment before opening them, a determined grin on his face. "A ninja."

"Just as I thought." Komui seemed satisfied, no one thought anything else, as it is extremely hard to know what he's thinking about. Except, of course, when he's in 'I won't let anyone touch my Lenalee!'-mode.

Warning, the 'I won't let anyone touch my Lenalee!'-mode is extremely dangerous, therefore it has been decided by the Black Order that no one under the age of 18 is allowed to mimic his actions in any way, **at all. **The Order takes no responsibility for your stupid actions if this warning didn't get deep enough in your head.

Now some of you are probably wondering who Lenalee is, oh, look, there she comes.

"Ah, Lenalee!" Allen smiled at her. "Good morning, Allen." the beautiful girl smiled.

Naruto stared at her, she was absolutely gorgeous. She had short dark green hair, beautiful matching eyes, and a female body, for once. _This girl can make even Sasuke fall for her...Probably! _Naruto thought and gaped at her, completely oblivious to the glare given by Komui and Kanda, much to his own surprise.

Naruto didn't waste any time, and took a look at her clothes too. She wore a long sleeved jacket, her sleeves becoming bigger and bigger as his eyes neared her hands. The zipper was red, but most of the clothes were black, she had the same cross on her chest as the other ones had. _Her boobs are average..._ Naruto thought disappointingly. Yet, he continued lower. Her skirt was black, nothing special, she wore black short..high heels with some sort of bracelets hanging loosely a bit above her shoes.

"This is Lenalee Lee, my little sister, and if you even _dare to put a pinky finger on her, I will kill you. Ignoring mercy. Completely._" Komui smiled in a threatening way. "Sir, yes, sir! I have no intention of even looking at your little sister, Lenalee Lee in that way, I already have someone I love, sir!"

"I like this guy already. Lenalee, this is Naruto, we hardly know anything about him..yet. We know his name, where he came from and what he is ; a ninja." Lenalee hardly payed any attention to her brother as she was currently squeling like a Sasuke-fangirl but better about his whisker marks.

_Oh please no._

_**I think you kind of deserve it.**_

_Shut up._

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**I would like to continue, but I really need to write those damn stories now. Hopefully, you'll be able like this chapter ;u; Thank you for your time.**


	3. The demon meets the demon

**Sorry for the delay :C**

**I'll get right to the point,**

_Italic- Thinking_

_**Bold italic- Tailed beast speaking / thinking.**_

**Disclaimer- I do NOT own Naruto.**

**Warning..s- Language.**

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"Say, Naruto, do you know what a demon is?" Komui asked.

Naruto glanced at his stomach, where his seal was. "That was a stupid question...of course I know what a demon is, after all.." _I am one._

Naruto, couldn't say this out loud of course, so he shut his mouth, and gained several confusing looks directed at him.

He had never been beaten up by the villagers, thankfully. They probably treasured the lives they had been granted, and mercifully saved by 'God'. He scowled at the thought. God. When had God ever been by his side?

When he was being tossed away as garbage when he was only a child? When he went on a mission with his teammates and nearly got killed? When he saved Sakura and Sasuke from Gaara on the chuunin exams? When his teammate, Sasuke, had left the village to seek revenge? When he had watched grandma Chiyo die?

Or maybe when some he held dear had been killed?

Naruto was snapped out of his thoughts, where questions flew by at the most fastest pace ever thought, by Komui. "You still alive?" Komui waved a hand in front of his face. Naruto nodded in surprise. "So you know what a demon is. How do you deal with them when you see one?"

"...We seal them." Naruto said, confused. After all, demons were not normal..at least not demons as in tailed beasts.

Komui gave him a confused look right back at him. "Seal them? Don't you defeat them or something like that? Actually, what demon are you thinking about?"

"Tailed beasts..?" Then it came back to Naruto like a slap in the face.

"_**This isn't the same world, Naruto." **_were the words of the Kyuubi.

"..I have no idea what you're talking about, but let's leave your insanity for some other time. The demons I speak of are..created by the Millennium Earl. When someone loses a person they hold dear, they want that person back, no matter how much you deny it. The Millennium Earl takes advantage of that knowledge, he created demons out of them. But we Exorcists exist for the sole purpose to rid the world of the demons. _Him._" Komui started, his long explanation that made slightly sense for Naruto to understand had not ended, apparently. "You're a ninja, can't you use some jutsu or something to destroy demons?"

Naruto thought about his father. "Fuuinjutsu.. My father was once a genius on that subject, but I have no idea on how to use it, and he's dead, and I don't know if I'm even in the same world as I was in before now, so I can't ask him to teach me it..why?"

"Sealing them is not what we do though, we have to exorcise them, release them from their misery. Do you understand everything up to this point?" Komui asked.

"Everything except this whole thing with that Millennium Earl. I mean, what is he, an old fat man?"

"That. Is exactly what he is, how did you know?" Allen said. Naruto sweat dropped. Where the hell is he anyways?

"..Where am I?"

"In the Black Order HQ. London, Earth. Ever heard about them?" Kanda asked sarcastically.

"I've heard about Earth, why do you ask, woman?" Naruto smirked when they laughed, except for Kanda of course.

"Tch, cats these days."

Naruto stopped his thoughts dead in track with widened eyes. They gave him confusing looks, Naruto decided to answer their unspoken questions, although he knew they probably wouldn't understand him. "No, nothing. I was just thinking of my old friend, he always used to say 'tch' all the time." They all caught the slight hint of sadness heard in his voice, so they decided to not press him on the matter.

"Anyways, think you wanna try to work for the Order? Exorcise demons? Of course, we will ask you questions about where you came from and such later." Komui asked Naruto.

"...If you help me return to my world. I have a war waiting for me, after all."

"I bet we could do that. Our technology seems far more advanced than yours, after all. Although, it might take time. Are you alright with that?" Komui gave Naruto a reassuring smile. Naruto nodded and gave him a beaming smile in return. "So how about you go out on a mission with Kanda, Lavi and Allen for now?"

"Umm, sure, I guess." Naruto said, hesitating a bit.

"Speaking of which, let's hurry on the mission details. Hmm..Lavi, you'll be in charge of showing how things work on missions, Allen, you'll show Naruto around when you come back from the mission...and Kanda, you...Kanda, you..you just stay away from destroying the Black order." Komui said, and waved at him in a way that said 'Shoo, shoo, stop destroying, go away'

"Back to business. There have been weird things happening in London, explosions appearing in the sky, shooting stars..probably a meteor shower, and sometimes, the moon tends to glow red. This could be a Noah's doing, but I can't understand what and why they are doing these weird actions. It just doesn't make sense. But the thing that makes me fear the most is the red moon thing, like it's stained with blood. Sometimes, the citizens say a man wearing a dark cloak, white mask and a weird weapon on his back can be seen in front of the moon."

Naruto quickly recognized the description of the man he would face when he came back. "Madara! Madara Uchiha?!" he shouted.

"You know this man?" Komui asked.

"Do I know him?! He freaking killed my comrades!" Naruto shouted. Naruto then quickly realized what he had done, and apologized to the surprised exorcists. He had surprised them enough.

"..Anyways. I want you all three...Excuse me, four, to watch over the place. Exorcise as many demons as possible if you find any. If you see that man, get information out of him. As much as possible. And Naruto, I want you to tell us who that man is when you come back." _If you come back. _"Dismissed."

The four boys left the office. Once outside, Allen turned to Naruto. "Do you have equipment or such?" Naruto nodded. "Great, then let's head out. I'm gonna go grab my coat. You guys go ahead."

"Then, let's go, Naruto." Lavi said and motioned for him to follow.

They went out of the Black Order's HQ. Naruto gaped at the view of the city. "Woah! What is this?!"

"This is a part of London." Lavi said. Just as he said that, Allen returned.

"We are heading north from here. So straight forward we go!" Allen said and smiled. A white cloak covered him and his face, with a silver mask that covered his eyes. "Crown clown! Belt!" From the cloak came white..objects and tied themselves around Lavi, Kanda and Naruto. He pulled the 'belt' and threw them far north, with the weight the three boys gave, they pulled Naruto with them.

Curling their bodies into balls, they rolled in the air and landed on their feet on a rooftop. Naruto gaped a little at what just happened. _What the hell was that?! A bloodline limit?!_

"I'll kill you, bean sprout!" Kanda growled and threatened Allen by putting a hand on his sword.

"Bring it on, woman." Allen growled back, remembering the nickname Naruto gave Kanda earlier that day. He then averted his gaze to a deserted alley.

"What's wrong?" Naruto asked. Then he saw it, that grey eye turned red with black rings. "Rinnegan..Nah, can't be, the Rinnegan is gray with black rings. Not red." he whispered to himself. It didn't go unnoticed by the future Bookman, but he decided not to ask him about it. Not now, at least.

"Demons, get ready." Allen said and got into a battle stance. Lavi and Kanda did the same and they faced the alley.

Naruto made the handsign for "**Shadow clone jutsu!**" he called out. An exact copy of him appeared next to Naruto. The original pulled out a shuriken from his weapon pouch. The clone got the message before he even was created and made the Rasengan on the same hand Naruto was holding the shuriken in. The flow of chakra was surrounding the shuriken, making it look like the same shuriken, but bigger.

"**Rasen Shuriken!"** He threw the shuriken at the demon. "The new and simpler version" Naruto said and smirked. The demon shone a bright white, broke and flew towards the sky and eventually, it was out of sight.

The other three gaped at Naruto. Lavi was the first one to recover. " .That?!" Lavi grinned at Naruto. "It was AWESOME!" Naruto gave him a sheepish grin but then he lookes surprised for a second and turned towards the full moon. There was nothing there, so he turned back to Lavi.

"That was a jutsu, rasen shuriken. It was originally the Rasengan, which looks like this." Naruto called his clone, who got the hint and made the Rasengan on his right hand. "This is the Rasengan. I have another one called 'Wind Style : Rasen Shuriken', which is way cooler. It's made from my wind affinity! But I can't show it, since I don't wanna waste any chakra." Naruto grinned.

The three boys grinned at them all, who just gaped at the weird phenomenom. They could barely understand what he meant. Naruto then bent his knees, put some force in his feet and pushed himself backwards, doing a backflip and then pushing himself downwards, towards another demon who went unnoticed by the others.

He attacked the demon with his Rasengan, the same thing happening with that demon as it did with the other one. "I could feel it's chakra. But still, these creatures have chakra? That's not surprising though, Kyuubi also has chakra and he's a demon too." Naruto whispered the question and the information about Kyuubi."

"Impressive. You can exorcise demons without the innocence." Allen said and smirked. "You'd make a good exorcist."

"I wonder about that." Lavi said. Allen turned to face Lavi.

"What do you mean?"

"There's something about him... Well, he is indeed suitable to be an exorcist."

Naruto just stared at them with an unreadable expression.

"Stay on guard. We have a mission." Kanda said and went off to patrol somewhere. Lavi and Allen sighed, but did the same, although, Lavi stayed with Naruto.

"I swear, that guy is worse than Sasuke." Naruto muttered.

"Who's Sasuke?" Lavi asked.

"My old teammate, best friend, now my enemy."

Lavi noticed Naruto's pained expression, and decided not to press the matter, once again. "...Let's keep looking for demons. Keep an eye on that moon if you see this guy you call 'Madara'. Call me if you see anything, I'll be nearby." Naruto nodded and Lavi walked away.

Naruto looked up at the moon. "Sasuke..I...**Will kill you.**"

* * *

**And that's that! :C It's getting worse and worse by every chapter, sorry. But thanks for reading, and sorry for the delay. I promise I'll do a better job. I mean, I really promise now, from February and forward, I'm gonna work my ass off. :C **


	4. Our pasts

**FINALLY. I'm .SO...So...So, so, so, so, so sorry. I was procrastinating. I've got no excuses. Also, I've just catched up with the manga. So...Changes. Be prepared. Not huge ones, but it will change..stuff. Like the Order.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and -Man or anything related to them.**

**Warnings: ...Meh, you've got the hang of all this now, right? ._. Kanda's language, hands up!**

**BE_GIN.**

Naruto sighed.

They've been at this for three hours now, and they seemed to have created a routine. Walk, spotting demon, exorcise, walk, rest, walk, find a demon, exorcise. Repeat. He had repeated this routine exactly 145 times now. So he had exorcised 290 demons, if his skills in math weren't betraying him. Which they probably were. I mean, it's Naruto, not Sakura.

While walking through an empty alley, again, he bumped into Kanda.

Literally.

"Damn it, cat! Watch where the hell you're going!" he growled. Naruto glared at him.

"Damn it, woman! Will you shut the hell up?!" Naruto growled back. As they were bickering, none of them noticed Allen and Lavi standing on their own rooftop, laughing into their hands. They stopped laughing when they heard the sounds of metal clash. The duo looked down to find Naruto and Kanda, each with a weapon in hand. Kunai and sword.

Lavi whistled, causing Allen to turn to him. "They're going at it, they're going at it!" he said with a huge grin on his face. Allen shook his head and went down to stop them.

"Come on you two, stop that, we have a mission." Allen raised his hands as if to hold their wrists, but he was met with Kanda's sword at his neck.

"Shut up, bean sprout, and let me kill this cat-freak!" Kanda shouted in anger, obviously.

"..Bean..Sprout...?!" Allen grabbed his left hand. "Bean sprout, you say.." He smiled and lowered his head, his hair covering his eyes, which caused Naruto to shiver. Allen's left arm seemed to glow, and a handle appeared in his right hand. "Say, did you cal me _**Bean Sprout, just now?"**_ he asked lowly, raising his head, only to reveal one red circle where his left eye once laid.

His left arm had fully turned to a sword now, and Naruto dropped on the ground. "Holy shit."

"I didn't know you were into shit, Naruto." Lavi said from behind. Naruto yelped.

"Where did you come from?!" he yelled, turning his head to Lavi. Said boy pointed to the roof, inquiring he jumped from there. Naruto nodded and turned back to Allen and Kanda, who clashed their swords and held them there.

"I did, got a problem, **Bean sprout?**" Kanda growled lowly, with a heavy glare.

"I do, **Bakanda.**" Allen growled back with the same tone. The place seemed to be covered in smoke from the fighting, with Kanda's and Allen's head sticking out in random places at random times.

"Jesus Christ, not even me and Sasuke used to fight like that." Naruto breathed out. Lavi smirked a bit. "How did Allen get that sword from his arm?"

"That, is Allen's Anti-Akuma weapon, in it's completed form." Lavi explained, keeping it simple.

"I don't really understand this thing with Innocence and all of that." Naruto said, sitting crosslegged at the ground. Lavi smiled at him.

"Don't worry, I'll teach you when we get back to the Order"_ That is, if we even do get back to the order._ Lavi blinked. "Did I just hear my thoughts?"

"Oh, so you were thinking about the same thing?" Naruto asked, smiling a stared at him, surprised.

_He was the one who said it out loud? Who is this boy, to have such thoughts? Is he really a ninja? There are so many questions that I want to ask him! He's such a huge mystery!_ Lavi felt something fluttering in his stomach. He smiled, with his mouth parted in a creepy way and his eyes wide. _Such a mystery..I want to unfold it! I'm getting excited..!_

He was snapped out of his thoughts when Allen and Kanda growled. "Woaha! We gotta stop them now! Naruto, you take Kanada, since he's scary!"

"..Did you just say Kanada?" Lavi burst out laughing, causing Kanda and Allen to stop their fighting by themselves. "HAH! What a girly name, it fits you! _Kanada._" Naruto also burst out laughing and he rolled around on the floor with Lavi.

"Kanada...Canada? Justin Bieber? No wonder you're so girly." Allen said, bursting out with laughter too, holding his stomach in pain.

Kanda had a HUGE tickmark at his forehead. "**Die.**" Kanda brought down his sword on first, Lavi, who didn't have any time to dodge.

"WOAH!" Lavi widened his eyes when the sword stopped between his eyes. He glanced at Kanda. His wrist was held by one Naruto Uzumaki.

"Careful there, you wouldn't want to kill him for real, would you?" Naruto said and grinned.

"Actually, I do." Kanda said, causing Naruto to close his mouth into a thin line and his eyes wide.

"Holy shit woman."

Before Kanda could kill Naruto, they were stopped by an unfamiliar voice(For Naruto) coming from Allen. It wasn't him though.

"Hey, stupid apprentice." Allen winced when hearing the voice, and decided to ignore the voice. "HEY! Don't ignore me!" The voice growled.

"Where's the voice coming from?" Naruto whispered to Lavi, who now stood next to him.

"Allen's earring, it's a sort of communication device." Naruto nodded.

"What is it, stupid master?" Allen asked. His golden earring glowed when his 'master' spoke.

"Oh shush. I heard you got a new friend." it said.

"Why would you care, and where are you?" Allen asked, raising an eyebrow in annoyance.

"None of your damn business. And I'm in the Black Order. Why I'm there? ...Also none of your business. Anyways, is the dude there?"

"I'm here." Naruto said. The voice didn't speak for a while.

"What's your name?" The voice sounded like a male, and he sure didn't have the typical girl-attitude. So, a male.

"Naruto Uzumaki."

"..Wait wait wait, UZUMAKI?!" the voice yelled loudly, causing Allen to hold his ear in pain.

"Yes, Uzumaki! The hell's wrong with my surname?"

"Hashirama Senju has a wife called Mito Uzumaki. Are you their child and did you take your mom's surname or something?" Cross said, lowering his voice and surprising Naruto.

"No I'm not their child. Heck, Hashirama Senju is long gone! How old are you, dude? ...Wait wait wait, how do you know about Hashirama Senju?" Naruto said, raising an eyebrow. The man sighed.

"It's troublesome, talking like this." _...Do we have a Shikamaru number two here?_ "Your mission is over anyways. I bet you didn't find anything but Akuma, right?"

"Bull's eye." Lavi said and leaned himself forward in exasperation.

"See you there then. I'll wait in the lounge." Cross said before everything went quiet. The group of four stood completely still for a moment that seemed like an hour.

"...Should we head back then?" Allen said and with an uncertain smile, pointed his thumb backwards, above his shoulder, towards the Black Order. The three nodded and they, this time, got ready for Allen's Crowned Clown. As expected, Allen activated his innocence and shot the three off with his ' Crown Belt'. And once again, with the weight of the three, they easily made Allen follow, with his smaller body.

"Damn it Moyashi!"

They turned their heads towards Kanda in the air, and almost crash-landed.

Allen had somehow grabbed Kanda with his Crown Belt. But he had grabbed something long. Something dark, midnight blue. Something soft.

Kanda's hair.

"Do something about it!" Kanda growled in pure anger.

"...Hmm.." Allen seemed to be deep in thought. "How about...No?"

"URGH! I'll **KILL **you!" Kanda was about to pull the belt so that Allen was dragged towards him, but instead, his face was pushed HARD into cement walls.

"You should really train on landing, Bakanda. Even Naruto lands better than you...Not that I've known him for very long." Allen said, and jerked his thumb towards Naruto, who stood perfectly unscratched on his feet in front of a train.

Once again, someone cut Kanda off. It was Naruto. "Hey, wait a second, this isn't the place we were at before..."

"Oh, right. We're gonna take something called a train.." Lavi chuckled. "to the new HQ. We were in the old HQ. We're moving." Lavi said. "We were attacked by a Noah and several Akuma in the old one. We wouldn't want them to destroy anything and everything while we're asleep in the old one, would we?" He laughed a bit, but then got serious again. "And we did lose many comrades in the attack too..."

They went silent.

Kanda sighed, cutting the silence with his, what people sometimes like to call, 'The Word cutter Mugen'. "Come on, we don't have all day."

They hopped on the train, and made their way to a seat, without caring about the private room they could have gotten. Naruto looked around a bit, asked Lavi a few questions about how the train worked, observed people and silently sat on his place next to the next Bookman.

They were silent for once, not wanting to disturb any of the other passengers. The ride was short, and they quickly and this time loudly walked to HQ.

They silently made their way to the longue, with some bean sprouts and idiots bickering in the front. Lavi glanced at Naruto a few times, questioning himself on who the guy was, until they got to the longue.

The room was HUGE. With sofas and tables like...everywhere. In a corner, there was a single chair with a small table in front of it. There was a sign that said with red bold text, '**ONLY**** FOR KANDA, 'CAUSE OF THE DANGER HE CAUSES**'. There was also a smaller red text, not bold but italic that said '_Made out of steel, can contain sharp objects. Beware._

"THE HELL! Who did this?!" Kanda yelled and pointed to 'his' chair. There were some laughters coming from the middle of the room. There, sat Cross, Lenalee(With Komui sitting close to her, because of Cross.), Bookman, a few from the Science group and Link, who was lurking somewhere near them.

Kanda blushed a bit when he saw Lenalee's smiling face. Whipping his head around, Kanda softly 'tch'-ed.

"Naruto, was it?" the red-haired man said. "Take a seat, this is gonna take a while."

Naruto took a seat, with the other three boys following. "So, who's gonna start with the questions?"

"I-or rather, WE are gonna start with the questions." Cross said, running his gaze on the members of the Order. "Also, you will answer the questions. If you can't answer them, state your reason and if it's a decent one, we'll move on. Do you understand?" Cross paused, waiting for Naruto to approve. He did, with a silent nod. "First thing's first. What happened to Hashirama?"

"He died, a long time ago." Naruto said simply.

"But I met him a month ago. How is that possible?"

Naruto raised two, yellow eyebrows. **Space and time ****distortion..., ****Kyuubi growled. Great, just**** great.**"Uhh...Well...Space and time distortion? I don't know." Naruto said, unsure of what that meant.

"...Space and time distortion can mean, for example; one day may have passed here, but 10 years might have passed in the world you came from." Komui explained, noticing Naruto's confused look. _How does he know that space and time distortion exists, if he doesn't even know what it means? _Komui thought.

Naruto's eyes widened and he panicked. _What if the war already ended? What if they lost? What if.._

"I have to go back to my world! And I have to do it now!" Naruto stood up.

"But how are you planning on doing that? Right now, we don't know how to get you back home. And if you know how to get back home, you would have done it already." Reever explained.

"Well..." Naruto thought about it.

Komui sighed. "First of all, how did you get here?"

"I was on a mission when Madara sent me here with an 'Eye technique' called Mangekyo Sharingan." Naruto explained.

"So if only we had this 'Eye technique', we could send you back?" Komui asked.

"Most likely." Naruto held his chin, furrowing his eyebrows, as if he was thinking hardly. "In my world, there are only four people who can use the Mangekyo Sharingan. Sasuke Uchiha, Madara Uchiha and Kakashi Hatake. The fourth one was killed. Sasuke and Madara are both my enemies, so those two are out of the question. Kakashi was on my mission, so there's a small chance that he can come to this world and rescue me. If 10 years haven't passed.."

"Hmm..." Everyone pondered on this. Naruto thought of something, that came like a slap in the face... As usual.

"REVERSE SUMMONING!" he yelled, smacking his fist against the palm of his other hand. "If I can still summon, the toad should be able to reverse summon, as in, he summons me in to where he lives, and reverse summons again to my world."

Komui stared quizzically at Naruto. _Summoning...Wait, a toad?_

"I'll start now. You don't mind if I summon him in here, do you?" he asked. Komui shook his head. "Well then..." Naruto ran through a set of handseals. Slamming his hand against the floor, a cloud in the size of three average humans and about at the length of Naruto appearead. The Order stared at the cloud in curiosity and once it cleared, it seemed as if they were something to shoot the lasers off.

"Yo...Naruto, are these supposed to stare till I get a hole through my head?" the toad asked. "'Cause if so...They're failing."

"Yeah, yeah. Gamakichi, I want you to get me back to my world...You can reverse summon, right?"

"Dunno. How did you even get here?" Gamakichi questioned. Naruto sent him a disapproving look. "Fine fine, I guess I could try. If I can't bring you back to your world, then I can maybe try to bring Kakashi here, so he could use his Sharingan to get you back to our..your world."

"Sure, whatever. Give it a try, c'me on." Naruto mumbled impatiently. Gamakichi sighed, slamming his palms together. They waited.

And waited.

And waited.

"Nothing's happening." Lavi stated.

"Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us, Captain Obivious." Cross replied sarcastically. Lavi pouted at the older man.

"Well, then. I'll be back, Naruto. Summon me in...10 minutes." Gamakichi suggested. Naruto nodded in approval before the toad disappeared in the same smoke he came came from.

"So that leaves us with 10 minutes of nothing." Cross stated. "It's pointless to question Naruto any further. He's no threat to the Order, he has nothing to do with the Noah...Let alone, this world."

"So we sit here and wait?" Allen asked.

"Yes, stupid apprentice."

It was silent for a good 3 minutes...

Till Naruto's stomach growled. Their heads turned to him, and it was not a long while till all eyes were on him. Naruto started blushing lightly, causing Lavi to chuckle.

"Lets get you to the cafeteria, shall we?" Lavi suggested, causing most of the people that were there to chuckle softly.

"I suggest you hurry up before I pass out off hunger." Naruto said and got up together with Lavi as they skipped down the halls to the cafeteria. There weren't many people there, just a few finders sitting in groups of two or four. They went down to Jerry, the cook, with a few stares at Naruto.

Naruto ignored them, as if he was used to it. The Bookman-to-be frowned at this, but continued to observe him in silence. "Jerry! Make something for the kid, will ya? Ain't eaten for a couple of hours, haven't you?" Naruto nodded.

Jerry smiled at the ninja. "What can I make for you, boy~?" he said in a sing-song voice.

Naruto wondered for a while. "Hmm...Can you make ramen?" he asked.

What did you expect?

"Of course! I can make anything you want!"

"Great, then make me 10 of those...Actually, scratch that. Make it 20." Naruto said. Lavi smacked his palm against his face.

_Allen number two.._

"20 ramen, got ya~!"

Not long after, Naruto was slurping down 20 bowls of ramen down his throat as Lavi stared at him as if he was a black hole specially made for ramen. Of course, Allen could beat this. He was, after all, a hole made for all kinds of food. And no one can't deny that fact.

Lavi stopped a clock. "2.3, not even 3 seconds. Impressive. Now lets see you eat 100 bowls of ramen in 5 seconds." he said.

Naruto's eyes lighted up, forcing Lavi to cover his eyes. "REALLY?!"

"I was joking." Lavi said, and Naruto became depressed. Lavi stopped the clock again. "You can go from happiest man in the world to a kicked puppy in less than two milliseconds. Impressive." he said, raising his eyebrows. "Well, lets get you to the training grounds, try out your skills."

"Training grounds?! This place is heaven." Naruto said, his eyes brightening up a bit again. Lavi smirked. They stood at their feet, making their way to the training grounds in a decent pace.

"I like you! It's almost a shame you're leaving in about 5 minutes. But you said you had a war going on, so I guess it's your duty." Lavi said, changing the atmosphere in the air.

"Yeah.."

"..If you don't mind..Could you tell me about yourself a bit? Like, past and such. I'll share my past, but you don't have to. But if you do, this stays between us...But only if you want to."

Naruto stopped for a while, as did Lavi. The one of the few Uzumaki left stared at Lavi's one eye with worried eyes. "...Sure. I know I can trust you." They leaned against the windowpane of an open window. "There are nine of them, the beasts, to make it as simple and short as possible. 16 years ago, in my world, the ninth and strongest of them all attacked my village, at the day I was born. My mother was a jinchuriki, the ones who hold the beasts sealed in them. She held that one. My father was the fourth Hokage, the strongest ninja in the village. He died sealing the nine tailed demon fox, Kyuubi, into me...Together with my mother."

"I'm sorry..." Lavi started, but Naruto shook his head and gave him a grin.

"The village shunned me for as long as I could remember, believing I was the reincarnation of Kyuubi. It stopped though, after Pain, a guy who attacked our village and destroyed it, revive them all with a jutsu. They called me a 'hero'. I have to admit, I was a bit pissed, but happy nonetheless."

Lavi stared at him with a furrowed eyebrow. _That must explain the bad feeling I have. It wasn't him, but it was the demon within him._

"I'm not mad at anyone though. Except for the man who controlled Kyuubi, and started the war...But that's a story for later. But I'm happy with where I stand now. I have comrades, I got to meet my parents somehow, I had a master, even though he's dead now, I have people that I can truly call friends, I have a goal...That is enough for me. I don't know how any of this is gonna end, but no matter how it ends, I'll die knowing I had people that cared for me, even to their deaths...And hey, I even have some _warm_ chicks around me, ya know?" Naruto wiggled his eyebrows.

"Haha! I like the way you think buddy~!" Lavi gave him a friendly punch on the shoulder and they ended up laughing. Once they calmed down, Lavi spoke up. "I guess it's my turn now...Lets see...I began training at a young age, as a Bookman. Our job is to record history. I've had different aliases, totally 49, with 'Lavi' being the recent one. Throughout my upbringing, I've witnessed many wars and deemed humankind as foolish for their constant fighting and inability to stop the inevitable outbreak of war. I began to change though when I joined the Black Order and became friends with its members...Well, there's not really much to talk about. This eye" Lavi pointed at his right eye, covered by an eye-patch. "I have a photographic memory that I developed during my training. I can basically remember everything that I've seen with this eye..or something"

Lavi laughed it off, but when hearing that Naruto wasn't laughing, he opened his eye that was closed when he laughed, to see a large grin at Naruto's face.

"...What?" Lavi asked.

"That's awesome!" Naruto said happily. Lavi widened his eye before grinning himself.

"Right?!"

They both laughed till Lavi suddenly realized something. "Oh, right, 10 minutes have passed!"

Naruto panicked a bit and hurriedly went through the same set of handseals, summoning...

"Sasuke?"

* * *

**OMG. DONE. I've forgotten what I was supposed to say to ya'll, but whatever D: ..Oh right, I haven't proof-read it. :P**


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